18 May, 2011

Writing Ain't for Cupcakes

I don't believe in inspiration, fairy dust, magic writing spells or any of that other crap.  I'm a firm, ass to chair, scheduled kind of writer.  20 hours per week when working one job, 10 hours when working two.

And while the groovy new timer doesn't motivate me to write, she does make keeping track easy.  Especially since losing my morning writing schedule, due to job changes.

I bought her at Wegmans for 16 smackers, but I found a few places online for those who don't have a Wegmans.


OXO Company

Bonus points if you know how to properly extract fairy dust from a fairy.


  1. Amen!

    I'm a methodical writer, too. I wish there was magic... but for me, there usually isn't. And that's okay.

  2. I'm waiting for the day when someone invents a comupter that reader my mind. I think it,it types it.

    Do you think Kohl's has it? I saw sandals there I liked and I need to fill the order.

  3. Jennifer: Nice to see you. Congrats on your upcoming book release. Woohoo. Go you. Rah.

    Pat: Wonder how much that computer would cost? I just looked at Kohl's online and didn't see it, but they had some others.

  4. Amen - it's the only way to be productive.

  5. Matt: I agree. I miss having each morning to write but, I'm digging my new timer. Haven't named her yet.

    Alex: Close. Very close.

  6. a faerie dust extractor, like a ant eater... but you plug it in.

  7. The same way you get gold out of a leprechaun, of course.

  8. Whisk, let me tell you that extracting fairy dust from a fairy should really only be done in laboratories with Biosafety level 3 or 4 facilities.

    That stuff gets everywhere and is nearly impossible to get rid of. Always showing up on your face, hands and clothes at inopportune times like job interviews, police interviews, funerals and first-dates...

    And contrary to all claims about fairy dust's ability to enable you to fly, with all the changes to airport security, you most certainly will not allowed on board a commercial airline if fairy dust is detected upon your person.


  9. I suppose I might try burning one. You know, ashes to ashes dust to dust...

  10. Hahaa.. I was going to say the same thing as Alex.. cool picture :)

  11. This has nothing to do with writing but had to share with you. I'm clearly not a baker of desserts at all. Betty Crocker is my bestfriend. However, I attempted to bake Cherry-Almond Vanilla Cupcakes with Cherry-Almond Buttercream Icing and to my surprise...they were all eaten and now I'm expected to bring them to every family function from here on out. My 18 year old son's review: "They actually taste like cupcakes and this is the best icing I've ever eaten." *Proud Mama Moment* The last cupcakes I attempted to make before these tasted (texture-wise) like corn muffins...lol.

  12. I think I found the same thing in the grill of my car...

  13. Okay...that thang skeers me. (Said in my most childlike Southern voice.)

  14. My dear, first of all you need a live, or at the very least recently dead, fairy. That one there looks like it's stopped smelling a couple of weeks ago. If you bought that one on the promise of being able to harvest it, you were cheated.

    Once you have a fresh fairy, all you need to do is shake it. To get the last specks out of a dead one, I find that wringing it is the best approach. You really do not need the fancy tools some swear by, but use gloves (standard gardening ones are good), as fairy bones break easily, and open fractures can cause wounds, which again has a nasty tendency to cause fey-fever and the like.

    Also, good luck with the writing :)

  15. what's nice, is that I work a job where I just have to be a place and not do anything.

    Getting paid to not do anything is a marvelous writing motivator.

  16. I'd probably dip it in liquid nitrogen and thrown it into the lyophilizer to freeze dry it. Then I'd crush it with a mortar and pestle.

    Well, I lie. I'd get an undergrad to do that.

  17. As a cook myself, I must say the culinary uses of fairy dust are actually rather limited. The taste is all wrong for using it to dust cookies, for example.

    As an aside, it is spring and allergy season here - my own allergies have turned into a spring cold, which has sapped my own ability to focus on writing and my energy for the same. I hope to get over it soon.

  18. You just ask them for the dust? Don't forget to scratch Wiggy's tummy from me.

  19. I had a good chuckle reading through all of that, but I think Angry's cracked it. Now you just need to get in a fairy's good books.

  20. Everyone: Okay, by far away, the best comments, ever. Really great stuff. I'll come back after work and respond individually, but I just wanted to say how much fun these were to read.

    And now ... it's a little after 5:30 in the AM and instead of going to my desk, I'm headed to the fabric shop. Where, by the way, we do indeed sell fairy dust.

    Catch you guys after work.


  21. Great fairy dust advice here! I'll have to try some of these tips the next time I run into a fairy. :)

  22. Back to answering questions from the day before in the new day's thread: I read quite a bit, most of it is ebooks now, since I bought the Kindle. After reviewing the Kindle 3 with special offers on my blog, I was immediately slammed with recommendations for the reading list.

  23. Using fairy dust is cheating. No magic allowed. There are a few authors I suspect of using means other than their own natural abilities to produce excellent works one after another. I know how to get the dust but I'm not telling.

  24. I probably only get in 5-10 hours of writing a week, with full time job and little childrens to keep alive. I do believe in inspiration, but I also believe you've got to just push through even when you don't have it.

  25. Maybe some magic words might help.... "Abacadabra...."?

  26. iZombie: A fairy dust extractor. Very cool. Wonder how much the one that runs on batteries, costs. You know, for outside fairy dust extracting.

    William: Of course.

    biopunk: This is good to know. See, I've been doing it much differently. Though I do agree, the stuff does get everywhere. We sell it at the shop and it's always on our faces, hands and work clothes. What a mess.

    mshatch: Ah, interesting approach. Makes sense.

    WritingNut: Glad you enjoyed it and had a laugh. Made me laugh reading these answers. Good stuff. Good stuff.

    Savannah Rose: That's okay. Doesn't matter what you talk about here. It's all good. And those cherry almond cupcakes. Oh man, alive, they sound fantastic. Glad the texture worked on the new batch. Did you snap any pictures of them?

    Hanny: I hope you removed the head and extracted the leftover dust.

    Savannah Rose: Don't be a-scared. It's done been dead for weeks.

    Harald: My dear friend, I do believe you are correct. I've been cheated. Even though I removed the head properly, there was very little dust inside. And it was stinky dust. Phew.

    I never thought to shake it while alive. Probably better than what I do, which is pop thier little heads off and then give 'em a good shake onto the blank page.

    Thanks for the well-wishes.

    -C: I used to work at a place where I was able to get a lot of writing done. But that was a long time ago, when the world was still flat.

    SpawnofEndra: Mortar and pestle. Now you're talking.

    The Grumpy Celt: Is that why my cookies came out tasting flat? Good to know. Sorry about the allergy season taking a hold of your focus and good writing energy. Hope that passes sooner rather than later.

    Lurker: Interesting option. I never thought of asking them. And all this time I went straight for decapitation. Miss Wiggy says, hello.

    Porky: I did too. This is by far and away, some of the best comments on my blog. Loved reading these.

    Susan Fields: They really did open my eyes to whole news ways of extracting dust. Guess I can stop decapitating them.

    DocStout: Most on e-books? I'm just not ready yet.

    Susan Gourley/Kelley: Keeping it secret, ehh?

    Alexia: That's pretty darn good that you get 5 to 10 with a full-time and a family. Whew. You is one busy chickola.

    Kitchen Flavours: See, this is why you guys are the best. You come up with fantastic ideas. Abacadabra. So simple and effective.

  27. That photo freaks me out a little bit.

  28. i think we should invent one... it might the little creatures, but their dust is legend... wait for it ...dary. i like a mini vac for the soul.

    yes, i have know idea what i am talking about either... :)

  29. So the secret UFO films didn't depict aliens after all, but fairies with their wings chopped off instead. Interesting. . .

  30. I agree with that first sentence so much.

  31. Hahaha, I saw that picture and was like, "WHAT is THAT?!?"

    It definitely helps me to give myself specific goals (usually word counts as opposed to hours, but it's the same thing in the end). Good luck with your writing! (and fairy dust exctraction!)

  32. Miss Holly: I don't know who made that, but I had to post it.

    iZombie: Now that we're all still alive, we have time to make one.

    Suzan: I like to chop their heads off and then sell the fairy dust to fools.

    Admin: Thank you.

    Hayley: Not a big believer in luck but it's sure nice to see you. Happy Writing.

  33. What kind of Fairy Dust are we talking about here? (From that picture, I would guess Necromantic...)

    Link: http://lunchingonlamias.blogspot.com/2011/05/fairy-dust-harvesting.html

  34. How sad to see a fairy without its dust. Mighty cruel if you ask me. I just hope the poor thing hadn't been shook to death by a dust-buster.

    Good luck with your writing and thank you for your kind comments